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Joke of the Day
"Take a deep breath. Exhale slowly. - Respirational Tweet"
Next Joke
"*cashier stares at obviously fake ID* you sure you're 3? *dog panics and runs out of the store barking*"
"my tortoiseshell sunglasses make me see the whole world through the kelvin instagram filter"
"What does a beggar and a PHP programmer have in common? They both work on crowded platforms."
"How are the Seahawks and my girlfriend similar? they both can get 16 shoved down their throat without choking"
"Welcome to Starbucks how may I help you? ""Regular coffee with cream please"" That's $40, 5ml of unicorn tears, and 10 dragon scales. ""TEN?"""
"Why do white girls only travel in packs of 3's? Because omg they can't even."
"What's Jared's favorite side dish? Megan slaw"
"What does the sign of an out of business brothel say? Beat it. We're closed."
"What did the fat cat go to prison for? Purrrjury"