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Joke of the Day

"Women usually love when I compliment them on their youthful appearance. But this lady is obviously upset over comments about her pimples."

"Movies are always more fun if you dress up like the characters. Like the time I didn't eat for 3 weeks and then saw Schindler's List."

"What did the black hole say to the pulsar? I don't think you understand the gravity of your situation"

"Why do drug dealers hate prostitutes? Because prostitutes can wash their crack and sell it again."

"Why don't orphans play baseball? They have no home to run to"

"""Talk to the hand!"" - deaf people"

"A router goes into a doctor's office and says, ""It hurts when IP."""

"So this lady says: ""Would both of you guys do me at the same time?... ...come on, I double dog dare you."""

"What do you call a movie about a low-magnitude Iron ion that skips school? Ferrous Bueller's Day Off"

"I always put both of my arms inside of my shirt when I'm pulled over because most officers will go easy on drivers who don't have any arms."