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Joke of the Day

"What does a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce have in common? Either way, someone is losing a trailer."

"Don't bother entering the sail-raising contest at the boat club. It's rigged."

"Mumford & Sons! It's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin & Sons. You know that new sound you're looking for? *holds phone to a boiling pot of water*"

"My boss accused me of sticking my finger in his BD cake in the break room fridge, but he is completely wrong, it wasn't my finger."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked to be in a movie about famous musical composers... He responded ""I'll be Bach"""

"What would you call a 90 year old hooker? Ho-spice"

"Did you hear that Tom Cruise is hiring Rebecca De Mornay for the weekend to help him make cat food? Yep, it'll be ""Friskies"" Business!"

"I get my eyes from my Dad & the ability to find something wrong with almost anything from my Mom"

"I was tickling my younger brothers feet last night, then my mother had a right go at me. Something about waiting till he's born first."

"Just made a playlist for hiking. It has music from Peanuts, The Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix."