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Joke of the Day
"Lazy is a strong word. I prefer to say that the stars are reaching for me"
Next Joke
"Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful provided you get between the right man and the right woman."
"Why did the fishermen buy a new pole? Just for the halibut."
"When does Sean Connery enjoy playing his favorite sport? Ten-ish."
"If optimus prime was a pokemon, what would his most used attacks be? Transform and rollout. (When you tell this to people wait and see if they guess it)"
"What do they call their mistresses in Islamic countries? Haram Baes"
"A guy is out to dinner with his wife... Wife: See that drunk guy at the bar? Guy: Yeah, what about him? Wife: He proposed to me 10 years ago, but I turned him down. Guy: Wow! He's STILL celebrating!"
"The year is 2005. Hollaback Girl is playing. We find a table and discuss how we each decided on our MySpace top 8. Everyone is ok with this."
"I before E except after C and In old Mcdonnald had a farm."
"What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece? The Philosophers Stoned"