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Joke of the Day

"What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece? The Philosophers Stoned"

"Why did it take so long to find the bodies of the black firefighters after the building they were in caught fire and collapsed? Cause the building collapsed, duh."

"My girl friend wanted a nose job... So I tried. But her nostrils weren't big enough."

"What do you call a nun who's gone to Heaven? Nun of the above."

"How do pirates measure rope? In yarr'ds."

"Why did Blackbeard cross the road? To indicate where the treasure is buried."

"Remember to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time."

"How many nihilists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? #"

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints."

"Most women want a man who can make them laugh and also feel safe. So basically, a clown ninja. Good to know"