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Joke of the Day

"Why do Jews have a big nose? Because air is free"

"Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into twitter."

"Gotta be careful. My astrologer just warned me someone pretending to predict the future would steal my money."

"Does the 5 second rule count for a baby? Asking for... Nevermind, her mom picked her up."

"I have this thing where I like to take a crap with the door open. Unfortunately, not everyone at Starbucks feels the same way."

"Birthdays are good for your health Studies have shown that people with more birthdays live longer."

"Drop down towl for 200 $oh yes he probably came to bring my 200 euro's he owed me He borrowed it from me yesterday"

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards out of a boat? Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"I was so depressed dat my ATM displayed someone else's balance to cheer me up"

"It's not that hard to tell alligators and crocodiles apart... ...One will see you later, whereas the other will see you in a while."