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Joke of the Day

"Gotta be careful. My astrologer just warned me someone pretending to predict the future would steal my money."

"Want to hear a construction joke? It's not finished yet."

"Feminism Nothing else. That's the joke."

"A book fell on my head. I only have my shelf to blame"

"What do ghosts drink? BOOOOOZE"

"My Grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"6'5"" guy: [starts a fight with me at the bar] me: [hides behind GF] GF: HEY, WHAT THE F- me: look, we need more strong female lead char-"

"My collection of Swiss watches was stolen in Spain. Adios Omegas."

"What did the dad buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bison"

"[Target cashier stares at my fingerless gloves] Ah, couldn't help notice you were admiring my hand vests."