197558

Joke of the Day

"I almost did this stupid thing at work where I think for myself."

"What's the difference between John Kenndy Jr. and Ted Kennedy? Ted can swim away from an accident."

"What do people store their fondest memories in? A nostaljar."

"Every now and then I like to do a complete check of my financial situation. Yep, still nothing'."

"I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it's 15p. I've adjusted the price to allow for inflation."

"I honestly respect reality show people for the sole fact they can do their interviews weeks later and speak as if it's presently happening"

"What TV personality lives in your phone? SIM Card-ashian! (it might help if you say it out loud)"

"I'm not a fan of stupid conspiracy theories, but I'm fully aware that Governments slow down time on weekdays & speed it up on weekends."

"What are calories? Little elves that tighten your waistband on your pants a little every night"

"People make such a big deal about vegans, but I don't get it. I've never had a beef with one."