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Joke of the Day
"Spandex is sausage casing for humans."
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"When someone is murdered, they always investigate the spouse 1st. That says everything about marriage."
"""Another day another dollar."" - African kids"
"McDonald's new Obama Value Meal is for freaks!!!"
"How do you get a Jewish Girl's number? You roll up herr sleeve."
"Gonna start a gym called ""Resolutions"". For the first two weeks of January it's a gym. The rest of the year it becomes a bar."
"[briefing] CIA DIRECTOR: We have a leak... CIA PLUMBER: (slowly stands up) CIA DIRECTOR: In our operation. CP: (slowly sits back down)"
"My brother got sent to prison for something he didn't do. He didn't wear gloves."
"A stranger called me the other day and told me to meet him at the cemetery at midnight. What a fucktard. He didn't even come."
"What's the funniest part of a boxing joke? You'd think it'd be the punchline, but apparently it's funnier when the person feints..."