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Joke of the Day

"I'm glad twitter is new because nobody needs to see Michelangelo rt'ing every time someone mentions how majestic the Sistine Chapel is."

"Not a very good poem. I dig. He digs. She digs. We dig. They dig. Everyone digs. I know it's not a very good poem, but it's very deep."

"What is the worst joke you ever heard?"

"Officially committed to Princeton University class of 2019 majoring in women's studies with a concentration in culinary arts"

"My fourth grade teacher told me I would use cursive at least once a week, but she was wrong. I use it every day when food is delivered to my house."

"If being sexy is a crime then I'm not committing one."

"Jay-Z is actually the 26th generation of the Jay family, which dates back to the middle-ages, when Jay-A invented rap."

"What's green and yellow and eats nuts? Gonnorhea"

"bucket: a dirty limerick A horny young Scout, with a bucket, Caught a goose and proceeded to fuck it Far too roughly (it died), Took it home, had it fried, Cause he thought it'd wasteful to chuck it."

"What's Franklin D Roosavelt's favorite game show? Deal or New Deal"