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Joke of the Day

"Officially committed to Princeton University class of 2019 majoring in women's studies with a concentration in culinary arts"

"I don't have shit to say and"

"How does an elephant hide in the jungle? It paints its balls red and climbs up a cherry tree. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? A giraffe eating cherries."

"Time travelers never have a good excuse for being late."

"There really should be awards for getting out of bed."

"What do you call a hippy's wife? Mississippi."

"How do you tell an introvert and an extrovert mathematician apart? When talking to you, the extrovert mathematician looks at *your* shoes."

"What does a chef and a gravitational wave astronomer have in common? They both work in gastronomy"

"I met a guy who could put his dick in his ass. He was pretty full of himself."

"If I squint really hard, nope. You're still an idiot."