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Joke of the Day

"Pet Shopping Paddy says ""Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador."" ""fuck that"" says Mick ""have you seen how many of their owners go blind"""

"Is chicken soup good for your health ? Not if you're the chicken !"

"What did the Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything"

"50% of fatherhood is repeating yourself. Other 50% is untangling your kid from the shirt stuck on their head cause you didn't unbutton it."

"What are the three worst words to hear while having sex? Honey, I'm home!"

"What's the worst game to give someone who has OCD and anxiety issues. Perfection."

"Dicksuckers Cramp Guy 1: ""You know what this face is?"" *Holds mouth open in an O* Guy 2: ""No, what?"" Guy 1: ""Dicksuckers Cramp, get it?"" Guy 2: ""Yeah"" Guy 1: ""How often?"""

"Society: ""Just be yourself."" Society: ""No not like that."""

"I made a new joke. I made a new word. Plagiarism."

"Imagine a sister store to Cold Stone Creamery where you can buy a bucket of mashed potatoes with ""mix-ins."" Hot Mash Potatery"