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Joke of the Day

"Me: Goodnight Moon. Moon: Don't ""Goodnight"" me! Do you know what time it is? Where the hell have you been?"

"Sold my wife on ebay. Dreading the buyer feedback."

"A group of boulders joins Facebook... ...hikers and mountain climbers stay inside on Mondays and Wednesdays."

"How do you make holy water? You take ordinary tap water and boil the hell out of it."

"How do you tell the difference between a Chemist and a Plumber? Ask them to pronounce 'Unionized'."

"Why is six afraid of seven? because seven is a registered six offender."

"I call my penis ""the coelacanth""... Because no one has seen it for 66 million years."

"There are 10 kinds of people... Those who know binary and those who dont."

"My son ran away again, but it gets worse. I think this time he took the remote."

"A seven year old girl goes to subway and orders a footlong Jared delivers"