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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Fig and a Fig Newton? A Fig Newton is Force sensitive."

"""Surely I say unto you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God."" I wonder why rich men didn't just chop up the camel first..."

"""Come together, right now, over me."" -Beatles lyrics or gangbang dialogue"

"DATE: *takes a sip of her water* ME: haha ok wow can you tone down the pda you're behaving very erotically"

"Did you hear about the dumb woman who had... Did you hear about the woman who had two chances to get Pregnant? She blew them both..."

"Being popular on Facebook is like being the smartest kid in summer school."

"If you're stuck in the Friend-zone, here's a simple 5-step solution: 1) Stop. 2) Being. 3) Her. 4) Fcuking. 5) B!tch."

"My wife doesn't know this, but for the first 3 years of our marriage I thought we were supposed to share a toothbrush."

"What do Anna Nicole Smith and Tom Brady have in common? They both like saggy balls."

"My friend had to step in as the lead of Little Shop of Horrors at the last second. He was Suddenly Seymour."