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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the dumb woman who had... Did you hear about the woman who had two chances to get Pregnant? She blew them both..."

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"Pickachu I think cops should yell ""PICKACHUUUUUUUU!"" before they taze someone."
"Our country's going to shit and I will not stand for it... ...so I sat down"
"*sees guy ordering pizza* ""With onion"" (Ok) ""Sausage"" (Nice) ""Mushroom"" (Hell yea) ""Chk"" (Plz) ""Meatballs"" (Why) ""Anchovies"" (Ur dead to me)"
"What do you call a fashionable Japanese warrior? Glamurai"
"Waiter your tie is in my soup! That's all right sir it's not shrinkable."
"I used to throw gang signs... but then my mom saw me and made me pick them up."
"If you legally change your name to 'You're Free to Go' then it's impossible to get arrested."
"What is the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? A pervert wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on his face."
"What's the difference between Paul Walker and my computer? I actually give a shit if my computer crashes. ^RIP Paul Walker 2013. This is only a joke."