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Joke of the Day

"If you like interracial porn... ...you'll love the next 4 years. Minorities are going to be fucked constantly by an old white man."

"Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?"

"How do you castrate a guy from Kentucky? Kick his sister in the jaw."

"*shakes self after staring at ceiling* Sorry honey, I was just thinking about Mitt Romney"

"Why don't women have men's brains?Because they don't have penises to put them in."

"Why couldn't JFK become a boxer? Because he couldn't take a shot to the head!"

"Everyone says they are sick of my Linkin Park references... But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"1) Print out all your favstar trophies and fold them so they are 2D 2) Put them on your mantle 3) Invite dad over 4) Become favorite son"

"My friend had a testicle removed after finding a lump. He's very serious when it comes to mashed potatoes."

"I'm not racist but.. I saw a black guy running down the street with a TV and I thought ""that's mine"" Then I realized mine is at home, polishing my shoes"