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Joke of the Day

"Why don't women have men's brains?Because they don't have penises to put them in."

"If two people had a race and one had sand in his shoe but the other did not, who would win? The one with sand in his shoe -- if it was quicksand."

"Sometimes I think I am a bad mother because I don't like wine."

"Mrs Saggy: Mrs Wrinkly tried to have a facelift last week. Mrs Baggy: Tried to? Mrs Saggy: Yes they couldn't find a crane strong enough to lift her face!"

"The sweater you left is in the closet. just like you."

"Babies who cry in a restaurant would rather be eating in a breastaurant."

"How many Donald Trumps does it take to change a lightbulb? One, he holds up the bulb and the world revolves around him"

"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny."

"So, I told a girl ""send boobs""... ...and she sent me a topless of her, 8 years old, at a beach. Girls are really losing it, man. Year-old picture?!"

"Army guy: sniper in the clock tower, 6 o'clock Me [seeing the time on the clock tower says 5 o'clock]: I'm just gonna nap for an hour then"