204043

Joke of the Day

"It doesn't matter where you are, an old lady is about to be in your way."

"Buy this car, this is a good car, you could put a bunch of ducks in this car, probably 30-40 ducks"

"what was was the last thing that went through the fly's mind when he hit the windshield? His butt"

"*opens up a Forever 20 store next to Forever 21*"

"If Dumbledore did a 'Cribs' episode for Hogwarts, he'd be like ""and this is where the magic happens"" in every room."

"I purposely did not bring my reusable shopping bags to the grocery store and I have never felt so alive!"

"Do your part as a parent by helping prevent teen pregnancy. Let your child play the tuba. Tuba players never get laid."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a 6 offender."

"My girlfriend has this weird fetish Where she dresses up like herself, and acts like a total bitch"

"""You're getting an MFA in English? Wasn't your Bachelor's useless enough for you?"" -second degree burn"