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Joke of the Day

"HER: your phone is exacerbating our problems *i pick up my phone* HER: your behavior is untenable ""hold on I'm still googling exacerbate"""

"Your calculator will be there for you tomorrow... You can count on it."

"how to perform artificial insemination in mexico about 10 guys jack off onto the floor, and then they let the flies do the rest."

"A couple are having fun in bed..... Girl: Come over Boy: I'm coming over Girl: We should stop using walkie-talkies in bed, over."

"Why does the sun never set on the British Empire? Because God wouldn't trust an Englishman in the dark!"

"How to piss me off: rearrange the grocery store. How to send me into a psychotic rage: rearrange the liquor store."

"Glad my name's not Dan. Too much pressure to be the man."

"How do you interrupt a Redditor's winning streak? The Game"

"Whos jared fogles favorite outlaw... ...Billy the kid"

"What do you do if King Kong sits in front of you at the cinema? Miss most of the film!"