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Joke of the Day

"My Birthday For my birthday I asked for a bicycle, an action man, and a vibrating butt plug... I never got that bike."

"Something on Valentines Day I just don't get... Laid."

"What did little Jonny have to say on the topic of meteorites? No comet."

"Where are the Golden State Warriors from? Chokeland."

"[job interview] ""Tell me one of your weaknesses"" I can be very stubborn ""Will you please elaborate?"" I will not"

"WE'RE HERE. WE'RE QUEER. YOU'RE THE MAILMAN. I'M ED QUEER. THIS IS MY FAMILY. WE JUST MOVED IN. I'LL SIGN FOR THE PACKAGE. SORRY IM YELLING."

"Wheather you have a lot of sex or watch porn frequently... without propper protection you're going to catch a virus."

"Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says ""Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site."""

"I fractured my tailbone this morning. I guess you could say I was pretty butthurt."

"Guess who I bumped into today at the opticians? Everyone."