122682

Joke of the Day

"[job interview] ""Tell me one of your weaknesses"" I can be very stubborn ""Will you please elaborate?"" I will not"

"Have you seen the new ticket prices for Alton Towers? Admission now costs an arm and a leg!"

"What's your favorite blonde joke? What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? When you smack it, the mosquito stops sucking."

"Lazy Dad I was shopping in Tesco with my Daughter earlier & she turned around and said ""Your such a lazy bastard dad"" I was so shocked I nearly fell out the trolley!"

"My girlfriend has a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh When I put my ear up to it I can smell the ocean"

"I didnt believe my grandfather got fired from his job as a Crossing guard for theft... But when i got home the signs were there"

"What happens when two pastries divorce? They have a custardy battle"

"I'm pretty white but I don't know any white people jokes. Got any?"

"In other news.... We now have the most attractive First Lady since Marilyn Monroe."

"What did the collard green do when his favorite song came on the radio? He got turnip"