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Joke of the Day

"So a pirate walks into a bar, he has a steering wheel on his crotch. The bartender goes: ""What are you doing with that thing?"" The pirate responds: ""Arr, its been drivin' me nuts."""

"How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family."

"Waitress dad jokes When waitress comes to the table ask if she takes orders ,""to go""? If she says yes respond with, ""Great! Get your purse we're leaving."""

"What do you call a crime-solving blender. Deducer"

"Don't invest in SeaWorld It's really starting to tank"

"How did the metal get the wrong idea? He was misled."

"Woman hits me with her shopping cart. I apologize. Another woman hits me with her cart. I apologize. Being Canadian is like being married."

"Waiter there's a fly in my soup! No sir that's a cockroach the fly is on your steak."

"A vagina is like a warm toilet seat on a cold day It's nice, but you can't help but wonder who was there before you."

"Overheard in 2nd grade class today: ""Do your work! Santa's watching right now."" ""Yeah, my mom told me that ship has sailed for me long ago."""