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Joke of the Day

"What's cooler than being cool? Financial Stability *shoutout to /r/personalfinance*"

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"Who was Mako Mori's existentialist monk brother? Memento."
"I'm starting a business in Indiana; we do paternity tests and private investigations. It's called ""Hoosier Daddy and What Does He Do?"""
"Racism is like Nickelback... I like to joke about it, but I never want to see it live."
"I don't like referencing Not et al."
"A joke this subreddit will love What's worse than a whale with a sore tooth? When you go to kiss your grandma goodbye and she slips you the tongue."
"Pluto Its Self Ex-Planetary"
"A non sequiter walks into a bar 3"
"Hey dad, the hospital called, patients are trying to rest, could you please turn down your television."
"HER: You've run over my dog ME: I'm so sorry HER: You're gonna have to replace him ME: [imagines finally being called a good boy] yes please"