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Joke of the Day

"[SCIENCE FAIR] ME: It's a Pez dispenser, but for hot Pop-Tarts. PRINCIPAL: This fair is for kids. OTHER PARENT: Shut up, let him finish."

"What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded? Bring on their subs!"

"Marriage Tip: Try not to leave a footprint on your spouse's ass as they get out of the car when you drop them at the airport."

"Mommy, why am I getting Christmas presents in November? Because it's cheaper than chemotherapy."

"Why did Jesus stop playing hockey? Because he kept getting nailed to the boards."

"[at my date's front door] wait, so you've known i was a koala the whole time? ""yeah"" [me clinging to her arm slowly eating a leaf] how tho?"

"Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because his pecker is on his head"

"ME: So. You from around here? HER: Yes. You're in my bedroom closet."

"What's the difference. . What's the difference between jam and jelly? I can't jelly my dick into a girls mouth."

"What s the only white thing about a black guy? His owner."