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Joke of the Day

"[SCIENCE FAIR] ME: It's a Pez dispenser, but for hot Pop-Tarts. PRINCIPAL: This fair is for kids. OTHER PARENT: Shut up, let him finish."

"Why do blacksmiths go to jail? Forging."

"Why is Jesus happy people hang pictures of him? It only takes one nail to put him on a wall."

"A blind man walks into a bar and a table, and some chairs, and stumbles out."

"I once dated a girl who said she was turned on by ""Black eyes"" So I punched her in the face. Turns out I heard her wrong."

"If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes."

"You know what the problem with biplanes is? You never know what direction they are going."

"Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? They don't have balls to scratch!"

"It's impossible for TWO dudes to ride ONE motorcycle without it looking romantic..."

"What do you call a table with dots all over it? The periodic table!"