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Joke of the Day

"Me:what did daddy say when he broke his phone? 7y:can I repeat swear words? Me: no 7y: he said nothing then"

"My friend had a testicle removed after finding a lump. He's very serious when it comes to mashed potatoes."

"What do lesbians and chinese people have in common They both like to eat pussy"

"Americans kill more Americans than ISIS kills Americans so we should probably play it safe and not let any more Americans into America."

"I'd like to explain what happened before the big bang Unfortunately there's no time"

"I got a new piercing I flopped my cock out in front of a girl last night and said ""do you like my new piercing??"" After a few seconds she replied "" where's the piercing then?"" I said ""in my ear"""

"If you have a crush on someone, walk right up to them, then a little past them and avoid them altogether it's probably not worth it."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheel chair. (And yes, I know I'm going to hell)"

"Pease don't make fun of dyslexic dwarfs! It's not big and it's not clever!"

"When I lived on the street, I always wanted to become a plumber, get a home, and run a business... But that was just a pipe dream."