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Joke of the Day

"I'd like to explain what happened before the big bang Unfortunately there's no time"

"David Hasselhoff saves money on tailored shirts by not ordering the first 5 buttons."

"What do you call midget psychic on the run? A small medium at large."

"Cracked me up when I was 5, still cracks me up as an adult. Why do gorillas have such big nostrils? Because they have such big fingers!"

"What did I do before Twitter? Well, there's my family and......OH MY GOD WHERE'S MY FAMILY?!?!"

"Why couldn't Elsa hold on to a balloon? She would always let it go."

"What's the difference between a cow and 911? You stop milking a cow after 14 years.."

"My childhood left me with unreal expectations about how often I would see pies used as weapons."

"The best way to avoid awkward moments with homeless people is to ask them for money before they ask you."

"What do you call The Bear who loves philosophy? winnie the Philosopooh"