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Joke of the Day

"Rabinowitz: Whatcha reading? Rabinowitz: Whatcha reading? Topper: Great Expectations. Rabinowitz: Is it any good? Topper: Its not all I hoped for. Hot Shots Part Deux. Best joke in the movie."

"9/11 gave rise to ""Truthers"", Obama gave rise to ""Birthers"", so... ... would a movement to determine whether Hillary Clinton actually carries hot sauce in her purse be called ""Saucers""?"

"Knock knock.... (Who's there?) Ellen Pao's Resume."

"Whenever I hear kids singing..... Whenever I hear kids singing ""do re mi"" I picture Chris Hansen is hiding in the room somewhere."

"Who makes dinner in a lesbian relationship? Neither, they eat out."

"Fight Club, but instead of blowing up all the financial institutions, they reset all twitter follower counts back to zero."

"What do you call the people that Trump didn't pick to be in his cabinet? Qualified."

"Frankly, I adore your mom. She said I'm the funniest motherfucker that's ever been up in this bitch! And she wasn't talking about Twitter."

"Look guys i thought a gangbang was where we all played drums together, i don't want any part of whatever's happening here"

"Today a feminist asked me 'how I view lesbian relationships?' Apparently in HD wasn't the right answer.."