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Joke of the Day

"Look guys i thought a gangbang was where we all played drums together, i don't want any part of whatever's happening here"

"Being popular on twitter is like being the keynote speaker at a Dementia Convention. No one remembers you the next day."

"Rowan County Clerk Kim Davis found in contempt of court and taken into custody... ...making it the first time a public sector employee has gotten in trouble for not doing their job."

"Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. 'Look Mum! No hands! Look Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look Mum! No teeth!'"

"Someone told me I looked like a pokemon. I told them I thought it was a little Farfetch'd."

"How is American beer like having sex in a canoe? Because it's fucking close to water."

"According to North Korean press, Kim Jong Il has entered a sleeping contest. Ta-da!"

"Muslims don't blow themselves up for virgins They're going to hell, where the women know what they're doing"

"What's an astrounaut's favorite key on keyboard? The space bar"

"Is your cat getting enough Chinese food? The answer may surprise you. Mews at 11. NEWS. I said ""news"". Just like a typing human would. What."