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Joke of the Day

"My favorite sex position is the JFK I splatter all over her while she screams and tries to get out of the car. Edit: thanks for the gold kind stranger."

"As far as I know original golf joke So what does a bogey have in common with a dead golfer? One too many strokes."

"I get 9"" in bed every night. That's how much mattress is left for me once the dogs get comfortable."

"When I get to somebody's house, I text them, because knocking on doors is for poor people."

"What do you call The Dynamic Duo after they got hit by a steamroller? Flatman and Ribbon"

"I was banned from the gym for taking home a dumbbell. ""Free weights,"" my ass!"

"""We suspect you may have inability to vocalise emotion disease"" ""I can't say I'm surprised"" *doc strokes beard* ""Hmm yes.Just as we thought"""

"A girl on Facebook says it's officially too cold to go outside. Thank you for your official confirmation, Madison, I will remain indoors."

"In the final analysis, why did Yu do better than Hu? Hu died and left Yu king. Wait a minute - how can you so sure about what's after death? Who died and left you king? Isn't that what I just said?"

"What's the difference between a baby and a politician? Saying they are full of sh*t means 2 completely different things."