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Joke of the Day

"I was banned from the gym for taking home a dumbbell. ""Free weights,"" my ass!"

"The first time I ever player lacrosse it was fairly stressful every time after that was fairly re-laxing"

"I rather have a bottle of soda for President than Donald Trump. This way, we could truly have a Liter of the Free World."

"My ex texted ""You've got a friend in me. XoXo"". I thought she was being too nice until I realized that she was talking about my buddy Dave."

"What would you call a supervillain that could control every part of the electro-magnetic spectrum except 495-570 nm? Magento"

"What's the difference between a French Knight and my friend with a genie? One's a Paladin, and the other's my pal Alladin"

"All women have an hour glass figure - it's just that they all tote around different amounts of sand."

"Can a ninja kill you from 20ft away? Sure he can."

"Dutch girl I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs."

"Ok how about a nail polish line for office ladies with colors like Legal pad, Non-dairy creamer, Mug stain, Excel, Boss neck..."