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Joke of the Day

"When I get to somebody's house, I text them, because knocking on doors is for poor people."

"What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest? Acne waits until its 12 before it comes on your face"

"Since we're still doing Pirate Jokes... What's the Pirates favorite letter? Ya think it be the Arrrr, but it's really the C."

"I've just noticed the wife is wearing her sexy underwear. This can only mean one thing. She's behind with the laundry."

"Son: ""Mom, Dad, I'm gay."" Mom: *Stares at Dad* Dad: *Clenches fist* Mom: ""Don't!"" Dad: *Sweats Profusely* Mom: ""..."" Dad: ""HI GAY, I'M DAD"" Edit: Yay top of r/jokes, #lifegoals Also formatting"

"What's white and troubles at breakfast? Cumshot"

"[job interview] ""So what would you say is your biggest weakness?"" ""I'm pretty bad at reading situations."" *tries to kiss interviewer*"

"[OC] [NSFW] I've practised for years... I've practised for years and years, and I can now finally ejaculate across the room. It's amazing how far I can come."

"Yelled at some skinhead today & he was all like ""chemotherapy, dude"" & I was like, ""whatever, racist"" cause sometimes you gotta take a stand"

"Trump is blaming Sanders for the violence at his rally... because you can't truly be Hitler until you blame a jew for all your problems."