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Joke of the Day

"I told my son that I found his hamster. He was ecstatic. Until I said it was in the vacuum cleaner."

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"Kanye joins One Direction as a replacement for Zayn... He kicks everyone out of the band and says: ""If there's only one direction, it's West."""
"A priest, a rapist and a pedophile walks into a bar... He orders a drink"
"Why shouldn't you buy trousers from northern Ukraine? Chernobyl fall out."
"Guantuanamo Bay, Cuba, is the military code-word for ""Chuck Norris' basement""."
"A son Whale asks a father Whale ""Where did I come from?"" The father Whale replies ""From my penis"" The son Whale says ""Oh....thanks"" Father Whale says ""You're Whalecum"""
"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10-tickles."
"What do you call a female android? Synthia Lmao"
"Stop letting your dogs piss on fire hydrants. Some of us use those for parkour."
"A friend is like a car I dont have one"