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Joke of the Day

"Stop letting your dogs piss on fire hydrants. Some of us use those for parkour."

"why is there no windows 9? Because 7 8 9!"

"TIL Socrates' last words. ""I drank WHAT?!"""

"Police arrested two kids yesterday... ...one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off."

"In the song ""Fancy,"" why do Iggy Azalea and Charli XCX sing about getting drunk on the mini bar? Because they only wanted to get a little drunk."

"Did you hear about the Middle Eastern beauty contest? Me neither."

"The woman next door was flashing me from her upstairs bedroom . How she got her car in there I'll never know."

"What's ET short for? Because he's only got little legs."

"Question: What do you call a gay dinosaur? Answer: Mega-sore-ass."

"Juneau the capital of Alaska?"