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Joke of the Day

"""It says here you're very sarcastic?"" Actually it says sadistic ""why would you put that on a resume?"" I was being sarcastic"

"So does anybody have any M. Brown jokes, or would we be taking shots at him too soon?"

"That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid."

"Misery loves company. Company: ""I have a boyfriend."""

"Why are men afraid of the world? They spend 9 months trying to get out of a woman and the rest of their life trying to get back in."

"I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to do a rape-sex fantasy. She said, ""No!"" I replied, ""That's the spirit."""

"What is a terrorist favorite Pokemon move? Self-Destruct"

"Why does Tiger Woods bring two pair of pants during a golf game? Its in case he gets a hole-in-one."

"I was in the midst of telling dad jokes when.. he had a heart attack and died."

"What does the Obama administration think about foreign relations? Why so Syrias?"