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Joke of the Day

"Misery loves company. Company: ""I have a boyfriend."""

"A wife is like a hand grenade... remove the ring and your house is gone!"

"If your phone rings during a movie, answer it ""Yes, Mr. President. Right away, sir!"" And then run head first through the screen."

"Dial 3 2 1 2 3 3 3 2 2 2 3 6 6 to get a beautiful rendition of ""Mary had a Little Lamb"""

"A midget walks into a doctors clinic carrying a sword Doctor: Gerald! What's gotten into you man? Midget: Sorry, I feel a little Sikh."

"What is Shakespeare's favourite snack? Hamlet du fromage"

"I asked my kids today if they felt we spent enough time together and they both texted back that we did so I guess we are all good."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bush ! Bush who ? Bush your money where your mouth is !"

"TIL that the term ""A stroke of luck"" has more than one meaning- -when my fortune teller gave me a handjob."

"Why did Mickey get hit but Donald didn't Because Donald Duck."