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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into an old club. ""Please, do not touch the artifacts"" says the archeologist."

"Tuna What do you call a can of tuna in a lesbians back pocket? DIP"

"Last requests After I die, I have 2 requests on what shall happen to me. 1) I want my remains spread around Disney world. 2) I do not wish to be cremated"

"Life of a chef must suck. All your work eventually turns to shit."

"Beef jerky is just a cow raisin"

"How do you make a swiss roll? Push him down a hill."

"Coworker: GOOD MORNING! Me: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee Coworker: But you don't drink coffee Me: Exactly"

"Why was Heisenberg such a bad lover? When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum."

"What do you call an elephant that looks like a rhino? 'Elephino."

"I want to get one of those LA hats everyone has nowadays When people go to ask me ""hey man, are you from Los Angeles?"" I'll be like ""nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"""