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Joke of the Day

"Last requests After I die, I have 2 requests on what shall happen to me. 1) I want my remains spread around Disney world. 2) I do not wish to be cremated"

"What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear ? Anything you want as he can't hear you !"

"How do you get to Nazi Germany It's on the third right EDIT: Woah this is like my third day here front page? I feel special now."

"Q: How many Survivors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One to start screwing it in and the rest to vote 'em off the ladder."

"I believe in a woman's right to choose, except when it comes to picking what movie we should watch tonight."

"I found the secret to getting fresh content on the front page. I turned my laptop off and opened Reddit on my phone. Boom, all blue links on my front page again."

"If I were a cop and pulled a woman over for speeding I would keep crying until she let me give her a ticket."

"I don't know what hurts my wrist more, playing volleyball or watching women's volleyball!"

"Why was the programmer's code incomprehensible? No comment."

"[sees crush] Oh you're going to the mall? Wow weird me too. I totally need a new *tries to think of something at the mall* escalator"