913

Joke of the Day

"Proper punctuation... Proper punctuation is the difference between ""helping your Uncle, Jack, off a horse"" and ""helping your uncle jack off a horse"" It's a classic, but a good one"

"How did the firefly feel when he flew into the fan? He was de-lighted"

"What do you call a musical wreath made from $100 bills? Aretha Franklins"

"*Tears off break away pants as I approach the breakfast buffet*"

"Give a man a fire, and he will be warm for a night Light a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

"Did you guys know that water can talk? Water you talking about?"

"A man was afraid to go into Kohl's at the local strip mall because according to the sign: Kohls Staples Dicks"

"What did the rude prism say to the beam of light that smacked into him? Get bent!"

"""You hang UP."" ""No, YOU hang UP."" - Movie theater workers arguing about hanging movie poster for Up."

"My girlfriend claims my puns don't make any sense. She says they're un-BEAR-able."