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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: GOOD MORNING! Me: Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee Coworker: But you don't drink coffee Me: Exactly"

"[Dirty] A man goes to a hooker... A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, ""What did you expect for $10? Lobsters ?"""

"If you are at school, and the urge to take drugs hits you... Speak to the supply teacher.."

"I got a new fishing boat. I call it the master baiter."

"My mum was called Pearl and my dad was called Dean... Every time I would call them I would go, Hi mum and Pe PA pe PA pe pe PA...."

"Why are riddles about trees so hard? Because they always leave you stumped!"

"Jim ate my sandwich. It was clearly labeled. Jim's email is open on his PC. Jim's son now thinks he's adopted. The sandwich was LABELED."

"Why don't you slip into something more comfortable ...like a coma."

"What do mathematicians and ravers have in common They both search for X"

"I only had kids so I'd have a valid excuse for always being late"