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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between an ounce of cocaine and an infant? Eric Clapton would absolutely NEVER let an ounce of cociane fall 49 stories out a window onto the streets of New York."

"I may be middle-class, but I'm hard. *Al dente*, you might say. **Jimmy Carr**"

"She said that having a successful marriage is all about making sacrifices so I threw her into a volcano."

"What's innuendo? It's Italian for ""suppository""."

"Adam Sandler would have the most kills. His jokes are all dead"

"If girls didn't exist... ... then life would be a real pain in the ass."

"(Selling my soul) Just sign here and here ""I should have a lawyer read this"" *a million lawyers crawl through hell* We have plenty of those"

"what did Freud say about an algebraic equation? What you do to one side, you must also do to your mother"

"If my liver was a person, it'd be Doris, the 50 year old waitress pouring coffee at the truckstop for 35 years & smoking since she was born."

"What's 6.9? A good thing ruined by a period."