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Joke of the Day

"(Selling my soul) Just sign here and here ""I should have a lawyer read this"" *a million lawyers crawl through hell* We have plenty of those"

"Did you hear about the woman who beat Usain Bolt? Turns out it was race related."

"There once were three holes in the ground... Well, well, well."

"A therapist and his client play a word association game and the therapist asks, ""What's the first word that comes to mind after the word 'pork'?"" ...he responds, ""U pine."""

"Why can you call a liberal a leftist but can't call a conservative a rightist? Because they're always the wrongest."

"Why does Santa go down the chimney? Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide"

"My wife just got breast implants made out of oak I don't think I could do that, I think it'd hurt, wooden tit?"

"From now on when skinny girls say they're fat I'm just gonna be like, ""Yup"" & walk away."

"As I stood under the running water in the shower I couldn't help but think of those poor, thirsty kids in Africa. It made me cum faster."

"Misleading title Bad punchline"