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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Cut the rope!"

"GF: ""Can I be frank?"" Me: ""Sure, but I'd be more comfortable if you were a woman."""

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in Dallas? They woke him up."

"A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other... ...so I thought I would go over there and break the ice."

"""Dad, why isn't there chocolate meatloaf?"" - my brilliant 3 year old son Patrick"

"I'm not saying I'm a jinx But the first time I played Tetris the first thing that dropped for me was a circle"

"Keep dimming automatically, laptop screen. We love that."

"14 sent a text asking me to pick her up from school and added ""not in your pajamas"" so I'm wearing hers because good moms listen"

"You'd think strip poker would be more fun but Grandpa is horrible at cards."

"Doctor doctor I keep thinking I'm a telephone. Doctor: Why's that? I keep getting calls in the night."