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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the kidnapping in Dallas? They woke him up."

"THEM: What's it called when you think about them all the time? ME: Love. T: What if it's about murdering them all the time? M: Also love."

"My Spanish teacher taught me the word for ""Transgender"" I asked him if the word is masculine or feminine"

"What is her Majesty the Queen's console of choice? The Royal Wii."

"On June 28, 2009 Stephen Hawking threw a party for time-travelers. He announced the party the day after it happened and he said no one came."

"Never knew why pajama tops had pockets on them, but I just filled mine up with cookies to bring back to bed and now it makes complete sense."

"I'm a proud member of DAM: Mothers Against Dyslexia."

"I'm not sexist... being sexist is wrong and being wrong is for women."

"One time I did mushrooms and played GTA and felt regret for the lives I was taking I was all ""Holy shit these people have families"""

"I don't trust kids as far as I can throw them. Currently my record for trusting a kid is 6 feet 11-1/4 inches."