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Joke of the Day

"A Jew, a black, and a Muslim are on a frozen lake, not talking to each other... ...so I thought I would go over there and break the ice."

"I got fired from my job because I smile too much! I said, ""If I can't smile while I work then get yourself another funeral director!"""

"[job interview] ""Tell me one of your long term goals"" Sleeping ""No, I meant-"" *leans in way too close* My answer isn't going to change"

"If I had a dollar for every punchline I forgot... Uh...damn it!"

"What would be the name of a very old rapper? 2 Canes"

"WebMD would be more accurate if every search result diagnosed you as a hypochondriac."

"NIETZSCHE: god is dead! he remains dead! and we have killed him! ME AS NIETZSCHE'S LAWYER: your honour we're gonna need a recess"

"Why was the illegal immigrant so offensive? Because he crossed the line"

"What kind of tea do wealthy people own? Proper-Tea"

"Why is Halloween one of the most popular holidays in West Virginia? It gives them an opportunity to *pump-kin*."