172019

Joke of the Day

"How soon is it going to be before school spelling tests only requires getting the first three letters correct until google does the rest."

"What do you call children who are afraid of Santa ? They are Clausaphobic"

"""My eyes are down there!"" - Large-breasted blind woman pointing to her service dog."

"What do you call a disabled kid in a hot car A vegetable"

"how many cooks does it take to change a lightbulb? one, and nine to stand around and say how they did it at their old job...."

"Clint Eastwood says we're the ""pussy generation."" Potty mouth."

"People often ask me why I'm single and how surprised they are Then after speaking to me for 15 mins they say they can understand why I am"

"I'm sorry to hear your uncle was run over by a boat in Venice while on vacation. My gondolences."

"What are the most common mistakes your ______ makes in bed?"

"I brought a pet iguana home from the pet store... I think there's something wrong with him because he's very lethargic and I can't get him up. It must be a reptile dysfunction."