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Joke of the Day
"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead."
Next Joke
"Why little girls can't fart Do you know why little girls can't fart? Because they don't get a**holes until they get married."
"Why do terrorists hate wine? Because there are too many zinfandel's."
"Finally, after years of waiting, my book on having sex with herbs has been published. Its about fucking thyme."
"*caterpillar looks up at sky* ""My dream is to fly a plane one day."" Other Caterpillar: You don't pay any attention in science class, do you?"
"Wife thinks I was present for every conversation she's had with anyone, ever, and assumes I know what the hell she's talking about right now"
"I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?"
"What's a cheese's favorite kind of drug? Amfetamines"
"I snore at night, so I bought a bunch of those Breathe Right Strips for my wife to shove in her ears."
"Try The New McDonaldsTM Double Bacon Something Whatever I Don't Know Anymore But You're Gonna Eat It Anyways You Fat Piece Of Shit"