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Joke of the Day

"I always start crying uncontrollably whenever I am about to get intimate with a girl . . . . . . Any good tips with dealing with pepper spray?"

"I injured my back in Egypt... and had to see a Cairo-practor"

"What does primate meat taste like? Oh, it has sort of an orangutang to it."

"What's the similarity between Michael Jackson and a raped Middle Eastern woman? They got stoned to death."

"""How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?"" ""384 my liege"" ""Ok, round them up"" ""400 my liege"""

"""Because it would be hilarious,"" is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president."

"We call our new maid Non Sequitur. She's Latin and she doesn't follow."

"I'm as useless as the top two buttons on a Greek mans dress shirt."

"Did you know condoms had serial numbers? I guess you've never had to roll it down that far"

"Being a hacker in the '80's was way easier. *shakes vending machine until chocolate bars falls."