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Joke of the Day

"How do you know that your wife is dead? The sex is the same, but the dishes are piling up."

"I like my women how I like my wine. Mellow, full bodied, and with a penis . . ."

"My girlfriend has trouble with flying me too, that's why I use a plane."

"Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized!"

"OK. I just got a text message from a number I don't know. It says: ""I'M RICK JAMES, BITCH!!!"" I'm terrified but kind of impressed, too."

"What do you call it when the stars align for a mustard thief? A Gulden's opportunity."

"The movie Scarface taught us that abusing cocaine can lead to making bad decisions--for example: the script, the soundtrack, and the acting."

"Who is busier than a one-toothed man in a corn eating contest? A one-legged man in an ass kicking contest."

"I'm starting a support group for men who have difficulty ejaculating Let us know if you can't come"

"If you are attacked by a group of clowns... Go for the Juggler."