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Joke of the Day
"Why couldn't the cow leave the farm? She was pasteurized!"
Next Joke
"My daughter asked me if I know how to do the Running Man, like my generation didn't invent it. Anyway, that's what brings me to the ER."
"What did the captain of the alien mouse spaceship say when he met his first earth mouse? Take me to your Liederkranz."
"Her pussy was such the color purple Oprah winfrey starred as the clit"
"My girlfriend says she'll break up with me if I don't give up writing I said, ""Sorry babe. Prose before hoes."""
"My son is explaining why my daughter is crying but I'm not buying it as I don't think she can even say, ""Please kick me in the face""."
"I wonder what people who type ""u"" instead of ""you"" do with all their free time?"
"So an interviewer asked me a question.. A: Your greatest weakness? B: Interpreting semantics of a question but ignoring the pragmaticsA: Could you give an example?B: Yes, I could"
"Most Trump supporters favorite Disney character is the hunter who shot Bambi's mom and we all know it."
"So psyched! My 1st granddaughter born today: 6lb11oz! Which is not the name I'd have chosen, but I guess I need to keep up with the times."