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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when the stars align for a mustard thief? A Gulden's opportunity."

"Proof that getting kicked in the nuts is worse than giving birth. Girls often say, yeah I'd have another baby. Guys never ask to get kicked in the nuts again."

"So I was fucking my daughter last night... when my wife walked in. I don't know what she was more surprised by: the fact that I was fucking our daughter or that the abortion clinic let me keep it."

"What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheeeeeettttt!"

"So when is this old enough to know better' suppose to kick in ?"

"I think i'm going to be famous! I met Jimmy Savile when I was young and I think he rubbed off on me!"

"Girls think I'm ugly until they know how much money I make Then they think I'm ugly and poor"

"My church says to treat my body like a temple. And let all the priests inside."

"You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run - ORIGAMI not for everyone !"

"Why did Davy Crockett always wear a coonskin cap? It was a birthday present from his wife!"